I always feel like I need just one more day. No matter what the project, I seem unable to organize things to be ready as opposed to, on the cusp of ready, but not quite there. Going back to school this year is shaping up to be no exception. I keep looking at my calendar trying to figure out if the date really is what I think it is – or as I feel – am I off my a week? Hmmm…no such luck.
First, I need to admit that I do not like going back to school at all. I remember my mom acting giddy as she bought school supplies and gym shoes. She was so excited to have us all back on a routine and away from the house that she would stop people in the grocery store to talk about it. Like a child waiting for Santa on the roof, my mom counted the moments until the bus would show up at the end of the driveway.
Okay, fast forward a few years and now I’m the mom. Back to school should be the light at the end of the tunnel. The house will be quiet. It might even stay clean. The refrigerator will stay full. I might be able to run an errand by myself. This is what any normal mother longs for at the mid-point of August.
Not me.
Day after day, I reluctantly think about school supply shopping while the kids play in the back yard. It has to be done, I know it, but I don’t want to do it anymore now, than I did when I was ten. I love the laid-back summer routine. I crave having the windows open to the sounds of the neighborhood pack riding their bikes in the driveway. I hang onto every park, pool, and porch moment. I know quietly that I am embarrassing the kids by acting as if they are leaving for college across the state, not just grade school down the street, but I can’t help it.
To make matters worse I need to get myself ready for back-to-school. I’ll be teaching new classes again this fall and I have textbooks, lesson plans, and a classroom to organize. To that cause, I’ve taken to sitting on the patio with my laptop and my lemonade, seeking frequent “I wonder what’s blooming over there” breaks, and falling victim to the hypnotic distraction of kids jumping on the neighbor’s trampoline. It’s not all that productive and I’m running out of time.
“Today’s trouble is enough for today,” (Mathew 6:34). I keep telling myself, yet I know that tomorrow’s trouble will be worse if I don’t face it head on, so – sigh – I’m going to do it. I promise to school shop, fill in the forms, and even drag the kids out for new shoes. I’ll take them up to my school tomorrow – they can help me set up my desk and plan out the seating chart. I’ll do my best to get myself one day ahead of where I need to be. My heart is filled with summer and now it’s turning to worry. I can’t, as He says, add even one more day to my life with worry, so it’s time – I know – to get busy with what comes next – and maybe even have time to enjoy it.
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