I’d wear my t-shirt proudly…

If you are looking for a fun and exciting place to do an “all nighter” I can highly recommend the waiting room at Froedtert Hospital in Milwaukee. It’s especially lively on Saturday nights in early spring. However in the interest of full disclosure – this past Saturday night was my first over night experience there– but it was hoppin’

 

I started my adventure with a handful of cousins, aunts and one uncle. We were there with my Grandma who was in need of emergency surgery. I am not in any way making light of the condition she was in, but now that she is feeling a bit better and I have started getting caught up on sleep – I am able to really appreciate the experience.

 

When we first arrived there was a man who could have easily been cast in a role as a Vietnam Vet in Forest Gump sitting kitty corner. I honestly was not paying much attention, but he must have caught the radar of my Cousin  C.B. (I’ll protect the names of the innocent J) because she insisted on wearing a surgical mask in fear of catching a communicable illness. As others walked into the waiting area I imagined them looking at our party of nine or so people all visiting in and telling stories with the poor girl who was so ill that she had to wear a mask. Honestly, I think they kept their distance from us – making it all the more entertaining.

 

Anyway after about an hour or so the nice lady at the desk came in and said Robert Soandso, Is there a Robert Soandso? She walked right past him and I swear he smirked at me. Then she turned toward us and said, “I am looking for Robert Soandso.” At this point we are all looking at who we assume is her man and she follow our gaze toward him. “I am looking for Robert Soandso,” she repeats and the guy answers, “Yea, so am I.” Then there is a long pause followed by him jumping out of his wheel chair and exclaiming, “Hey, here he is.”

 

Speaking only for myself I had to really work at not laughing. Not because I thought it would be rude, but more because I pictured his mother chiding me, “do not laugh– that only encourages him…”

 

It was not long after that when our group split-up — those that didn’t see the sport in staying up all night monitoring the coming and goings of the hospital waiting room vs.  the real die-hards.  I was a die-hard.

 

I think someone said there were four gun shot patients in the emergency room that night. I have no idea who said it and where they got their information. Most of what we know was overheard, so I am not feeling qualified to back any of this up. However, the next group of people to arrive was all pretty young – maybe in their late teens. I wondered who they were waiting for and why there were no adults with them. For some reason, perhaps I just assumed it; I thought they must be waiting for someone who had been shot.

 

After a long time of waiting they were told they could go back and see the someone they had come in with. Being always worried about explaining things to my mom I wondered how they were going to describe their night to their parents. Certainly more sad than funny, as they walked away I wondered if there were parents to explain things to.

 

Then in came the cleaning crew– young twenty-something year old guys who came in and cleaned the waiting room. They had a fancy vacuum that my Aunt N.G. took an immediate interest in. She has always had a very tidy house and – that’s not something easy to do unless you keep up with the latest tools. I thought the cool thing was how handy the attachment was. I have to admit that I as I watched I started to wonder about where I might get one of these really cool vacuums as well.  However, I could not for the life of me figure out the brand name on the vacuum and I offered to walk right over there and ask to see it, but both my aunts must have feared for my life because they insisted it was not quite that important. Funny how at 2:00 a.m. perspective of what is important really goes right out the window.

 

As the vacuum guy finished our area however, my other Aunt C.L. wondered why he had not used the cool attachment to get more of the dirt up from under the chairs. I think they must have been union cleaners, because that was clearly the job of the next guy with the cool broom. So we watched them clean up the area in a way that made it look clean, but I have to admit – not in a way that would make you believe even for a second they had removed the infectious illnesses that we so clearly sensed were infesting our clothing.

 

My favorite guy of the evening had a solution. He was sent out of the hospital area and back to the waiting area around 3:30 p.m. The person with him asked how he was going to get home and he said he was going to take the bus. It appeared unfortunate that he would have to wait until 5:00 a.m. for the first bus of the morning to show up.

 

The guy was a mess, but that was the last thing I thought about him because he kind of disappeared. Life went on and we all practiced sleeping while sitting straight up in uncomfortable chairs. We took turns sitting with Grandma who was slowly being evaluated, poked, and prodded. Then all of a sudden a nurse or at least a nice lady that works behind the counter came running past us to the men’s bathroom. She pound on the door and begins – in a very customer friendly way – so suggest to whoever is in there that they need to come out as they are making a mess. There were comments like – “you can’t take a bath in that sink – the water has been running for over an hour.”

 

We all looked at each other and then we turned to look at the man who came out of the bathroom. He was all cleaned up – with his hair all slicked back and his face washed – just a few minutes early to meet his bus. He gave us one of those old fashion nods that the men on Little House on the Prairie would do whenever a women would walk in and hand them a glass of water. As he exited stage right the cleaning crew entered stage left and went to clean up the bathroom.

 

It wasn’t long after that when we moved on to another waiting area. My Uncle T.C. went on a caffeine run and lots of cousins showed up. It was like a party and for those who know my family you will understand that any time there is an excuse to gather it is a time for fun – no matter how serious the reason for the gathering. We were pretty much the only people in this much cleaner and prettier waiting area. When my Cousin C.G. returned she no longer felt compelled to wear a mask.

However, those of us who stayed, ragged and unkempt as we were, we wore our wrinkled shirt tails proudly.  I am thinking of having T-shirts printed, “I survived the night in the Froedtert Hospital Waiting Room.”  Like all good fish tails – The adventure gets better and better each time I tell it J.