it’s nice to be nice

I was picking up my kids today and was listening to Sykes on the radio http://www.620wtmj.com/_content/talk/charliesykes.  He was ranting on the need to teach kids good manners – you know  –  etiquette. I was pulled right in because this is a big deal in our house. No, I don’t always get it right and honestly my kids don’t either, but I think my no. 2 job (after keeping them safe and healthy) is to teach them how to behave in the world in a way that is appropriate and polite.

 

Before we had kids we had neighbors that had kids. We asked these people if they wanted to go to a local church for a pasta dinner / fund raiser. They looked at us with doe eyes for a really long time and then finally said, “We’re sorry, but our kids don’t do eating in public.” Immediately, Tim and I had a goal – no matter what — our kids were going to be able to eat outside the safety of our home.

 

Since then this task has been assigned action items and measurable goals.  Well, we’re not that bad, but I can say that we want children who…

·         know how to behave in a variety of social situations so that they are not afraid of doing interesting things and enjoying all kinds of opportunities in their lives,

·         also, we want them to earn self-confidence based on what they know and what they can do – not just because we inflated it,

·         finally, we want to know that when they are away from us we can trust them to behave in a way that will make us proud

 

So back to Sykes who questions if parents are teaching their children these skills anymore. Well Charlie – if no one else is – we are and I have learned a few things that work so far…

 

First, as parents we have to practice what we preach – and that is not always easy– I send plenty of late thank you notes and I feel like I am always apologizing for being late – so no I don’t make the best example – but I’m trying.

 

Second, we have the same manners at home as we do out in the world. That way we all get lots of practice in a comfortable environment and no one is surprised by what is expected of them when we leave the house.

 

My third lesson comes from Anna Mae who sums up why she needs good manners by saying, “It’s just nice to be nice and then people are nice to me.” Simple as that – right?

 

Well not really, because Miss Mae is currently working on not being sassy or tattling. So while we don’t quite have it all together, I feel like it’s a work in progress and we’re on the right track. And hopefully, someday if we are asked to take our four children out to eat pasta in public we will be able to confidently accept.